Free Kissing Advice and
Kissing Tips and Techniques
in my Kissing 101 Newsletter!

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The best way to avoid all these situations is to know when it is finally right to kiss someone! And I’m going to tell you how. In this newsletter I’ll give you the essential tips you need to lay the groundwork for the first kiss of your dreams. These NEVER-FAIL strategies ensure that, whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ll always know when is the right moment to move in for a spine-tingling kiss.

First of all, a message for the guys: First kisses usually happen on first dates, at the end of the night when you are saying goodbye. If you try to kiss her before you’ve gone out properly together, she may think that you are forward and fresh. Making the effort to see that you are compatible and offer her an idea of what life would be like dating you is important. Although you may be tempted to kiss her during the date, restrain yourself. She is still making her mind up about you.

Consider what gives you the right to kiss a girl. It should NOT because you’re curious about what it will be like, or think she’s hot but otherwise couldn’t be bothered with spending time with her. Kisses are wonderful, special gifts that should be given to a girl because you care about her and are interested in getting to know her better. You should want to kiss her because you enjoy being with her and want to let her know that you want to spend more time with her.

Guys and gals alike know that a first kiss means one thing: I like you, and I want to continue seeing you. Both of you will be anxious at the end of the night, wondering whether there will be a kiss and how it will result. I know that I STILL feel nervous on the ride back home after a date. We may have had a great time and be chatting away, but in my heart I can’t stop thinking: will he kiss me goodbye? A kiss goodbye is an almost certain sign that there will be a next date, but if there is no kiss I usually don’t hear back from him.

The perfect opportunity for that first kiss may happen when you least expect it. So EVERY time you are with a guy or girl that you are interested in, make sure you’re prepared for the unexpected kiss! Brush your mouth thoroughly, from your gums to the roof of your mouth to you tongue. Floss and use mouthwash to get rid of any last particles. Never let chapped lips go … use a moisturizing chapstick.

If you go out to eat together, think about how the foods you eat will affect your breath. You can take one night out to eat bland foods to ensure that your mouth will be clean and fresh for that first kiss. Avoid any spicy or strongly-flavored foods, including coffee. A dish with lemon or mint in it will keep your breath clean. Also, take advantage of those complimentary mints!

DON’T smoke. Smokers’ breath can be attractive to other smokers, but if he or she doesn’t smoke, it will be a major turnoff.

Guys, make sure you shave! Women don’t want to kiss you with three-day stubble scratching their chin. Girls, lose that dark lipstick! There is nothing worse that letting your lipstick rub off a man’s face or stain his shirt collar.

Okay, now let’s get down to specifics and address the concerns that guys and girls will have in knowing whether it’s right to kiss.

For the Guys...

Guys, remember that you have to win her over BEFORE the kiss … not expect your dazzling kissing technique to win her over. She must be interested in you and open to the idea of sharing a kiss with you BEFORE you make the attempt.

Second, you shouldn’t even consider a kiss unless you’ve worked for it! By working for it, I mean that you’ve got to know her personally, have listened to her, found out as much as you could about her. You owe it to her to take her out on a date in which she’s had a good time and showed you that she enjoyed your company BEFORE trying to make your move.

So test the waters and let her get used to being physically close to you before attempting that kiss. Some ways in which you can do this are:

• Giving her friendly hugs. Show her that you can touch her in a non-sexual way and not expect anything else. Don’t make a big deal about it. When she presses into you and seems increasingly reluctant to break away, you know that she wants more. In fact, one day one of those hugs just might turn into the perfect opportunity to plant a light kiss on her lips.
  
• Touch her casually. Try out a bit of physical intimacy to see how she responds. Use this to gauge whether she’s ready to move to the next step of an actual kiss. Touch her arm or her back lightly to guide her to her seat. Try a light tap or stroke on the back of her hand to draw her attention to something. Play the gentleman and kiss her hand. If she seems electrified by your touch, you’re in business. If she seems startled or uncomfortable, take some more time.
  
• Increase physical intimacy. Once she seems as if she likes—or at the very least doesn’t mind—your casual touch, “intrude” into her personal space a bit. You may want to try sitting closer to her than you ordinarily would, or leaning towards her just a bit more than normal. Place your hand over hers … and let it linger. If she pulls away or freezes, she isn’t ready for your kiss.

Now, you’ve got to read her signals. Some signals that she’s interested in you enough to try a kiss are:

• Her smile. Women show their approval with a smile, and if her smile is a special one that you haven’t seen before—wide, intimate, genuine, and happy—you can be certain that she is enjoying your company as much as you are enjoying hers.
  
• Her eyes. If she is too shy to kiss you, she won’t meet your eyes. If she feels comfortable and open around you, she’ll enjoy looking at you … and if her gaze drops to your lips, feel as if you’ve got a yes right there.
  
• Her body language. If she faces you squarely, with nothing between your two bodies, she is giving you the opportunity to come closer. If her body is turned away from yours, she crosses her arms, or she keeps an object like a table between you, she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to kiss.

Now, it’s up to you to find the perfect moment in which to kiss. DON’T worry that if you don’t jump on the chance to kiss her you won’t have another one. This attitude will lead you to plow forward even when the timing may not be as perfect as you thought. There is always one last chance to kiss her … and that is at her door at the end of the night.

When you’re certain it is right, your conversation may simply stop, and you’ll find yourselves looking at one another in silence, enjoying the experience of holding one another’s eyes. Consider this moment a green light. It can’t be more obvious than that!

Now, Gals…

Usually, you get to sit back and let the guy do all the work of deciding whether, when, and how he should kiss you. That’s a pretty good deal! But it will be up to you to give him the positive signals he needs to know that you’re receptive.

NEVER feel pressured to kiss someone you don’t like. Some guys are really aggressive, and when he hones in on your mouth you’ll have to step back and give him a, “Whoa, cowboy.” You should never have to put up with a guy who won’t leave you alone. Give it to him straight with an, “I’m not interested,” and walk away.

If you DO want him to know that you’re interested, look at his lips, then glance up to meet his eyes with a smile. If he can’t figure that signal out, tilt your chin up with your lips parted and briefly close your eyes. Whatever you do, DON’T pucker your lips and hold it, hoping for him to plant one.

As you become more experienced you’ll be able to tell when a guy wants to kiss you. There’s a certain way he looks at you, glancing down at your lips, with a funny sort of smile. If you know that he wants to kiss you, give him the opening he needs! Stop and face him squarely without saying a word. Smile at him and meet his eyes. If he had been planning to kiss you, he’ll do it then and there. If he doesn’t, pretend as if nothing happened and keep moving on. He won’t be any the wiser.

What if there’s this REALLY shy guy, you might ask. Should you be the aggressor? Guys fantasize about having a woman pull them into a hot embrace and initiate a wild, passionate kiss. The question is whether such an aggressive move will turn him on in real life. All of us fantasize about things that we would probably feel uncomfortable with in reality. In this case, it may harm a guy’s ego if you take too much of the initiative. Let him make the first move, but give him all the opportunities you can to do so. If you feel like you want the guy to get the message a bit more quickly, take his hand and pull him towards you, or run a soft finger along his lips.